cats and parenting

so a few weeks ago, my family got a cat! his name is trooper and he's 9 normal years old, but apparently 52 in cat years. we got him from my mom's friend (mrs. lam) and he's been a lot of fun :) ok so my family's history of pets: probably 30 fish, 4 parakeets, and 3 turtles. unfortunately, all those pets are now dead. trooper is our first interactive pet and i've definitely learned a lot about responsibility from him.

after the first couple days with him, i realized trooper seems to have rabid hunger. he always jumps on the counter where we hold the food and tries to eat corn chips or any other food in the kitchen. i guess we either don't feed him enough or he's a rebel without a cause. pretty much everytime he does something bad (like knocking over and spilling the huge tupperware of his food and eating liberally), we have to spray him. according to mrs. christine cho, you spray from the back so cats think it's divine intervention- it rains everytime they do something bad. trooper has been sprayed about 20 times so far haha, and my mom has been disciplining him like crazy. she yells at him in chinese and it's almost nice having trooper around- he experiences 1/2 of the rage that might have been intended for me. one of the things i didn't like about with being the only kid at home was that my parents now solely focus on me. andd therefore, i get in trouble and scolded 4x more than i used to. thanks for trooper that has been cut in half.

speaking of discipline, i adore kids. i truly hope i turn out to be a good parent and that i make my kids want to love God more. i love my parents and am sincerely thankful for them, but i honestly hope i don’t follow their steps with parenting. ahh, but then it scares me when people say that no matter how much you fight it, there are things that pass on from generation. i pray to God that i will be an understanding parent, who my children feel comfortable sharing anything with and who can admit failure to. i also hope that i won’t hurt my kids through hypocrisy or by my words.

anyways, parenting is a long way off, but i like to think of baby names—ari, madelyn, noah, and josiah. i always have loved how those names sounds, but i never knew the meanings. ari is hebrew and means “lion”—i guess i do want my child to be courageous and fierce like a lion haha. madelyn means “woman of magdala”; according to wikipedia, magdala was where Jesus’ boat headed towards after he fed the 4,000. noah means rest and peace andd i would want my son to have faith like noah in the bible. and finally, josiah means “God will save,” which is so so true. i’m listening to “mighty to save” right now :) alright i should go study for stats and espanol b/c i'm not doing so hot in them!

homecoming

i've decided to blog regularly to be able to reflect on things and keep people updated more easily. so today i went to my first football game everrr. so i went to dinner and had a lovely chat with a friend beforehand so i wasn't super excited for it.

i think football games are more about the time you spend with friends at school than supporting the football team. it was REALLY cold--i have a new respect for cheerleaders who only wear spandex under their uniforms. i was really surprised who the homecoming queen was, but i'm glad that homecoming court was diverse with two white, one black, one asian, and one hispanic girl! one of the girls in the homecoming court is in the lyceum andd band--she marched in her dress! i honestly probably only watched 1/4 of the game, but i was glad lowell won! they played haverhill and won 14-12. i'd really go to a game every week if it wasn't for LYF, but LYF has a very large and special place in my heart :) ah i wish i had been at lyf during retreat reflection stuff!

i truly love my school friends--they have good hearts and are sometimes the most selfless people i know. ah i really wish they knew Jesus and i know i should be doing more to show them His love. i only have 7 months left with them so i should make the most of them. tomorrow i have absolutely no commitments--i'm excited to spend time with God, finishing school and college work and cleaning!

p.s. everyone should listen to "can i stay here forever?" by starfield!

live to tie

lyf retreat has always had a special place in my heart. it was during my first one that God became real to me. i realized that my faith was meant to be a 24/7 love relationship with Jesus. six years seriously goes by so fast! i can't believe this was my last one, but i definitely loved it and learned a lot.

planning is always stressful for me b/c if something goes wrong, it's my fault. i'm not sure if a lot of things turned out as i expected, but it was being on planning team that forced me to pray. too often, i want things, but never ask for them from God. i think it was through working with other lyfers with planning that i really got to know others and was pushed to my limits (in a good way :) sometimes i think my heart's like a bottle and the love i have is like water--i was only made with a certain amount. coming into lyf retreat, i wasn't sure how much love, patience, and energy i had left, but God definitely came through and Bum's messages about sacrificial love really resounded.

i guess with friends, i always do except something back. i always do want someone who listens, understands, is funny, crazy, and charming. it's hard to give, without receiving. i always expect something for my whether it's affirmation, gratitude, or returned love. it's hard for me to love a friend in particular, who's struggling with something and i don't know what to do to help her and i don't see any result of my love. i feel like God put her in my life so I can truly show her who Jesus is by loving her sacrificially.

i haven't had the best relationship with my parents. i know i've been their most challenging child because i can be pretty stubborn at times. hm...i think i have trouble with respecting and abiding by authority. i think that's because i've felt that authority has been wrong at times and that's hurt me. another thing i realize is that i struggle with being honest with my parents about who i hang out with and where/what i'm doing. my parents have always shown my love both in their actions and words, but it's always been difficult to show them my imperfections. writing a letter to my parents, where i confessed a lot was healing for me.

the session on dating relationships was at first a bit uncomfortable for me, but then i realized how it was good for lyf. romantic relationships are inevitable so i think it's good to be grounded even if its early. one thing i realized is that i'm nowhere ready for a relationship because i'm going to join an asian nunnery with blair and victoria lee will live nearby. haha jk, but i just see that God needs to work in me a lot more. i haven't achieved sacrificial love and don't know about who i am.

i truly value every conversation i had this weekend. i really see that there is a lot of love in our youth group and passion for Jesus and that makes me so happy. i am sad that in 7-ish months i won't be a lyfer, but i'm so excited to see where God takes lyf in the years to come--there's so much potential :) i really believe that if the younger lyfers give whole-heartedly respond to the vision God has for our youth group, they'll surpass all the things I or past LYFers ever did.

i loved loved loved my small group. we all had different personalities, but everyone was such a sweetheart. we didn't get thru all our notebook questions, but i definitely learned a lot about my small group through them :)

high ropes were reallyy scary, but i'm just glad i finished it. lol i pretty much prayed the whole time. i liked the low ropes course a lot better b/c it was interactive and collaborative. skits were scandalous, but superr funny.

coming back home, i realized how much i love lyf. i'm still figuring a lot of things out, but God has been faithful! so whenever life gets overwhelming, i always want to become amish--where life seems so simple. however, v always reminds me that amish people have problems too. God's slowly teaching me that thru Him i really can get through everything. anyways, i hope these things that God has put on our hearts, the relationships we have built or reconciled never die.

tangents: i love starfield, they never fail to have songs that say what's on my heart!

summer is here!

this year has gone by soo fast, but i really loved it. it was reallyy stressful like academically, spiritually, and haha relationally, but i made it through. i think my only regret, with college applications in the near future, is that i didn't do my best at school. i've decided that i really do want to go to northwestern. visiting there, i really felt at home and i loved seeing the fellowship really engage the campus. mm i don't know i guess i'll just pray that if it's where God wants me to go, i'll get in!

i'm going to organize the schools i am most likely applying to:

safety's: syracuse, wheaton, BU
realistic's: george washington, american, NYU, tufts
reach's: georgetown, usc, northwestern


it has been so much less stressful :) this week has been amazingly fun. i really love my friends.


monday, i went to nadiah's surprise going away party. and the lyceum is a great place, there is so much love. at first i thought it was going to be wicked awkward with some of the people we don't usually hang out with there. we all reallyy bonded, even though it was kinda dirty at times haha. i am excited for a senior year full of gravitas, dignitas, and veritas lol.



on tuesday, i went to hang out with my two favorite G's, keith and sam. we went shopping and played pool at boston bowl, where we met up with mena. this was also the day that the celtics won the nba championships! :)


wednesday, i hung out with the coolest family in weston. tiff was getting ready for her semi and then v and i went to the natick collection. we ate amazing crepes
and gelato then watch kung fu panda, the best movie everrr, with gordon and amanda.



on the morning, v and i went to bostonn on the train. we wore our shirts and green eyeliner! we met up with nathan and kei-fu for dim sum. thenn saw the celtics with a tonn of ppl! after we met up with sunny d and his friends and shopped. after v and i went to kumon and the yuen's for dinner. after eating a tonn, v, nathan, and i walked to cvs. we also bought some cool shades from newbury comics. we had an eventful walk back home and watched "welcome home, roscoe jenkins." then v dyed my hair ahaha you can't tell, but it was exciting and we watched some of xmen 3.


friday, in the a.m., nathan, v, and i met up with blair, victor, tak, and katie. we went to dim sum and met up with brian and andrew lai,victoria and justin hum, sam, and keith. after shopping in downtown and walking through the commons, we went to boston bowl. we played some intense bowling (with free socks!) and pool haha. after v, n, and i went back to cambridge and haha had no money to ride the bus. thank God for kind people, after we ate dinner and went to church! there weren't as many kids at lyf b/c of mando retreat, buut the game and small group were really fun :)

on friday night, i found out i got into the tufts program, with a full scholarship! my course is every monday and wednesday, but i'm doing other college prep workshops on mondays and thursday. God definitely provides :)


today, i walked and met up w/ v and she made lovely pancakes at my house. after we went to el pollo loco for mexican food. jordan is such a cutie. after, i went home, napped, and went to meadowland's ice cream with christine cho. i'm watching "day after tomorrow" right now and haha it's a bit scary with the reality of global warming. i want to have a "camp rock" party tomorrow! alrighty i'm going to clean my room now :)



i know summer has just started, but i should get a start on summer homework and college/scholarship apps! i will def try to post more frequently too :)

birthdays, movies, dresses, hunger

i have pretty much an amazing weekend. i spent it with some of my favoritest people :) this is going to be a long post!

on friday i didn't have to go to school b/c i took the apush exam. overall, i thin i did alright. multiple choice and the DBQ weren't horrible, but by the time it came for the open responses, i was drained. so for the question about how the relations b/w american indians and european settlers shaped the different cultures, i pretty much made up things about thanksgiving and pocahontas. the second open response was on the south post-reconstruction and i was really general and wrote horrendously



after i went home, i watched too many episodes of america's next top model andd then we to church. at lyf, i lead small group discussion and i must say that i do love small group chocho. although we all have ADD, we all genuinely care about each other and are friends. to be honest it was challenging leading b/c i hadn't read over the lesson and christine asked me to lead right after games. we talked about social justice and myanmar. it was hard b/c i don't know if i truly have a heart and compassion for the people there.

i think this goes with raising money for 30 hr famine. i haven't raised anything yet, but i plan to go all out tomorrow haha. but i realized i need to have the right heart and mind set. that i'm not doing this b/c it's a nice thing to do/i'm obligated/everyone else is doing it, but it's want God's called us to do. we're called to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give shelter to the homeless. our lives our for Christ and if everything is "for His kingdom's cause" i think it changes how we live and i guess how we raise money too!



so i had social celebration of my 17th year on saturday. first, christine, katie, alice, faith, and karen met up at my house and we went to boston to meet up with esther and the victorias. we shopped at downtown crossing and fanueil hall, then we made cards with mai ib and yee, and after we had food. thenn we watched 27 dresses :) being the ridiculous characters we are, blair, victoria lee, and i made a scandalous video jk. just a crazy/silly one where we attempted to be AGG. then v and i saw the "sunrise" in my backyard in sleeping bags. with the 40 degree weather, it was a pretty good time. after going on a bit of a cleaning raid, i crashed at 7. waking at like 2 hours later, i had some delicious pancakes and went to church.



after church, i had lunch with matt and eunice at panera. then we went prom dress shopping :) it was pretty painless. i walked through the mall and only bought a clutch. haha so eunice got a wicked bad foot cramp so matt got a wheelchair for her. when i was wheeling her around, i noticed people were especially nice to us. our final stop was david's bridal andd i only tried on two dresses. the dress i wanted originally didn't like as nice in person :( the color was really dark and the dress is reallyyy poofy. soo i ended getting this dress that might be a bridesmaid dress, but it was on sale and it was green (two pluses)!



my mom's in canada so we didn't really get to celebrate mother's day, but we went out for mexican as a family :) i pretty much got 10 hrs of sleep to make up from the previous night andd took a 2 hr nap today so i'm holding up alright.

going back to school wasn't too bad, it's so much more relaxing without calc and history :) i can't wait for summer! alright off to homework.

build me up, buttercup

ok after taking a five month blogging hiatus or more like being lazy... i've decided to regularly post :)

i think this will be my new year's resolution... and new year as in turning 17 :)

right now i'm at the umass lowell library and i'm 13 minutes late for my college writing class. patrick chhoy needs to learn how to not procrastinate and write papers at least on the day their due, not two days after!

i took the ap calc exam today- my thoughts, multiple choice: bueno, part A: open response: ehh, part B: what the heck are they asking?! buut i'm glad i'll never hopefully have to look at calculus again in my life. i'm taking ap stats next year and hopefully i don't have to take math in college.

speaking of college, i can't believe a year from now i'll know where i'll be going to college! it is a scary thought. i have an idea of what i want to do/where i want to go, but i don't exactly know why i do. i've always wanted to be a teacher, but after talking to my frosh science teacher- i realized you can always go back to teaching. i do really like that teacher and value his opinion, but i don't know if i should let that interfere with me following my dream i've had since i pretty much was 3 haha. noww i want to study international relations, travel, and help stop things like genocide. after i get married and have kids, i'll teach third grade. so i guess this is my plan for my perfect life, but life's not perfect andd i'm not sure if it's what God wants me to do.

patrick's finallyy printing his paper so i think i'm going to class 21 minutes late. it's a beautiful day- enjoy it! :)

everything is beautiful

But love it washes over
Love it pulls me closer
Love it changes everthing

Everything is beautiful
Even when the tears are falling
I don't need a miracle to believe
Even in the crashing down
I can hear redemption calling
And everything is beautiful to me

i love starfield, they're music and lyrics are amazing. hmm i think "everything is beautiful" is one of those songs i can listen to 3849023493 times and still not get sick of. i don't know it just really reminds me that God's there even when things are going terribly wrong and his love makes everything beautiful

ok i'm going to talk about my day. it was nice weather :) so last night at 9, my mom calls me down and tells me that my teacher called and left a message. and i just assume that she's talking about my drivers ed instructor b/c that's the only teacher who would call me. so i listen to the message and it's my bio teacher saying she needs to "talk to me about an urgent matter regarding my quarterly exam" and she leaves her number for me to call back. so i'm a bit apprehensive b/c the only reason i can think of her calling me is if she thinks i cheated on the exam or something horrible like that, but it turns out that my in-class essay was missing. when she told me this i thought about it and i realized that i must have thought it was my rough draft of my at-home essay was my in-class essay so when i swamped my final and typed at-home essay i took the wrong one and recycled it. so i told my bio teacher this and she basically says that the essay is like 25 points on my quarterly exam and she'll grade it if i can find it from where i recycled it and give it to her in the morning andd if not it'll be " a learning experience." k so this morning in advisory, i pretty much combed thru the recycling bins of my history, english, calc, and stats classes. andd thank God i found it in my stat class recycling bin! moral of this story: read carefully and recycle! well read carefully so you don't make stupid mistakes like i did and recycle your essays and recycle b/c it saves the environment and if you're ever in the dilemma i was in, searching thru recycling bins is 48394 times less gross than searching thru trashcans

we had a practice evacuation and what i learned from it is that it takes an hour and half to get 4,000 kids to walk up the street at sit in an arena. but i got to miss a class and a half which as nice :) my school is like OVERLY heated like my eyes start watering it's so hot sometimes. the rest of my day was bueno and i didn't go to college writing today b/c we weren't really going to have class today. the author of the book we're reading "the bones of the earth" gave a talk at umasslowell and so a bunch of college writing classes were going to it. patrick said it was boring and that the highlight was free cookies so i'm kinda glad i missed out. i got tutoring at my school library for calc, lol this is like my fifth time getting tutored, i've become a regular. it's kinda sad b/c only the ghetto kids go and get tutored, but oh well.

i got home around 3 and cleaned for a couple hours for my aunt. it was my first time really meeting her and she's nice. her husband's friendly too, he ran a marathon in ny over the weekend (i think) and my aunt said it was his third marathon this year and he ran it in like 5 hrs. i can't imagine running a marathon...26 miles! gosh i think running a mile is painful and i'm 16 so when i'm 60 i swear i'll already be in a wheelchair or something. hmm so my aunt talked to me about how she was a teacher in LA. i've always thought teachers got paid badly, but she said that teachers get paid decently there. she also asked me if i talk to her kids and i told her not really b/c they're like matt and eunice's ages. my uncle and her have been divorced for awhile and she told me how she rarely sees her daughter and that her youngest son hasn't seen or spoken to her in 4 years. i think that's so sad... i can't imagine being so bitter/having so much anger and hate towards my mom that i wouldn't even see her. and i can't imagine what it's like knowing someone feels that way towards you. i've realized that one of my biggest fears is getting divorced.

well this post is quite long and i should be really doing my homework or my devoes. i think we're going to eat at viet-thai for dinner so i'm pretty excited for that! bye now.