waiting

so vacation was last week and i really needed it, but i should have used my time better!

i really like lists b/c they kind of organize my thoughts :)

1) TC: i loved getting to see people again, but i never feel like i get to hang out/heart-to-hearts with all the people i want to! serving on shep team was nice--it's so encouraging to see people wanting to meet with God. i wasn't quite "there" spiritually and had a bad attitude at some points and i reallyy regret that. it's like i didn't truly want God to speak to me. at prayse fire, i saw how broken we all really are. i also realized how i am really scared of being vulnerable/letting people see my weaknesses. in retrospect, i know i need to conquer my giants of gossip, inconsistency, and dishonesty. i also need to learn to seek God's face.

2) break: besides being a bum at home, i went to the movies, visited the revolving museum, and went to wrentham and natick. i also ate out too much tgif's, brew'd, bertucci's, outback, minado, and panera! it was nice hanging out w/ lyfers and tc kids :)

3) movies: i watched "he's just not that into you" (cute chickflick), "definitely, maybe" (super cute chickflick), and "fight club" (mm...too violent, but interesante plot!)

4)aim: so after sleeping at 3 and 5 am b/c of chatting on aim, i remember why i don't use it. haha i guess i have more control w/ gchat b/c less people use it?

5) video messaging: yeah...quite an influx of it on my part. i have to admit video messaging is fun/it's like your w/ the person, but not really. however, i apologize for pretty much being excessively on newsfeeds.

5) otra: so this week i definitely slacked with spending time w/ God, doing school/scholarship stuff, reading my magazines (time and reader's digest), cleaning, replying to messages promptly, and sleep. however, i did do taebo on friday :)

6) phones: water spilled in my bag, breaking my phone at tc. haha this is only the fourth time this has happened. verizon is being super kind and giving me another one even though i'm pretty sure my phone is off warranty. i have the phone and am waiting for the battery, but i kind of like not having a phone. i don't constantly look for texts and i guess i'm slowly reaching my amish ideal haha.

7) lent: i definitely need to "get back where it all began/when i would long for only You" (starfield :) i'm not sure what i'll give up, but i want to try my best to commit to spending an hour with God each morning. i'm thinking of giving up media (except the news)...part of me knows this is the best, but another part of me is like "i should maintain my relationships from tc" (even though not all those relationships are exactly uplifting.

8) back on track?: today was really good--i had enough sleep (i ended up falling asleep on a table after tutoring though haha), was responsive in euro, read 2 time's, did tae bo/ate healthily, spent real time with God(it was really refreshing--i don't know why i always forget that), truly prayed, cleaned a bit, replied to messages, and kind of applied for an internship! i hope this discipline lasts and i really should do homework!

9) tutoring: this activity will be dominating my life. haha i have to tutor mondays, tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays. i used to just tutor twice a week for school, but haha i kinda need 20 hrs of community service for NHS by april 1 so i'm tutoring for my middle school. then last week, my friend told me that the librarian's daughter needs math tutoring (yay for kumon experience...not really)

10) summer: so i planned to find a paid internship in boston and hang out with people before college all summer, but i don't know if that's going to happen b/c i don't know if my sister's connection will work out. haha my other option is to spend my whole summer in shanghai w/ my sister steph and learn chinese. i really want to do both, but ideally i'd want to do option a this summer and option b next.

new

so i've had my first notsogreat week in a while! mm i guess everyone needs one once and a while to appreciate when things are going well. nothing too dramatic, but just tension with my relationships with God, my mom, and others.

today, school was going really well and i got to hang out with my girls from middle school. we went to etsogo and i had REALLY good sushi and green tea ice cream. after that, my mom like flipped out at me and didn't want to bring me home (observation: don't drive angry...it's dangerous) so i spent an hour at marshall's haha... i didn't really mind it--i do like being alone at times. after that, my dad was going to pick me up and he told me to get flowers for my mom to try to make ammends. i go into market basket and my gigantic bag hits a potted plant. so the plant and soil is out of the pot, buut it still retains the shape. i try to put it back into the pot, but lol it keeps falling apart! there pretty much soil ALL over..i felt really bad.

mm i think i'm just really mentally/emotionally exhausted, but i am really excited for this weekend :) my mom's leaving for a missions trip (to trinidad and tobago in s. america) tomorrow and i think it's what we need--time and space to miss/appreciate/love one another again.

once again, bethany dillon has a song that speaks to my soul! if you watch the vid, enjoy the scenic pics... not the random girls haha.


and i do love garden state.

simple

ok i'm going to recap the past week! well i switched comps w/ dad and i like this one SO much better. i skipped school, had an amazingly relaxing day at brew'd awakening...and consequently got in-house. very special people had their bdays...attrace, christine, blair, and victoria! the weekend: i went to fun world (for the first time in like years), casa de lee (FINALLY), and boston (ice skated/met and reconnected with great people)! thenn this school week, i celebrated retro day (in in-house haha) andd cultural day by wearing a qi pao and watching all the nerdy asians play rock band, super smash bros., and DDR. thennnn i met peter's dog, princess and had a snow day :)

random thoughts:

1) my bag definitely is too stuffed! things fall out ALL the time haha like yogurt...then my dad ran it over and my driveway is partially purple.

2) i love genuine people, meaningful conversation, and simple things.

3) garden state is a strangely heart-warming movie with an amazing soundtrack :)

4) verse of the day: "but He said to me, 'my grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in your weakness..." (2 corinthians 12:9)

5) sometimes i find myself in situations (like in-house) that i would have NEVER thought i'd be in haha. i definitely need wisdom from God :)

6) i've come to enjoy playing piano and reading the news from BBC

7) i love having 8 hours of sleep!

ah bethany dillon :)

nadiah hassan

       

so it came to my attention that miss nadiah reads my blog and so i've been inspired to post :) nadiah currently live in virginia and i miss her a ton! the bottom picture is the last time i saw her (with jack kerouac above us) -- when we went to the coffee mill! and the top picture is nadiah's romantic alley.

mm a little about my vacation, i went to toronto with my parents and i got to drive a few hours. i hate driving on longggg highways w/ trucks, i skidded once and drifted a few times. we stayed at my grandparents' house, which was an oven! i really appreciated getting a chance to help my grandma exercise with her walker because though i don't think she remembers who i am all the time, she seems happy. haha to be honest, growing up, my grandma was just a scary lady who made terrible food. my canto isn't the best so would never really talk to my grandparents, but i really regret that.

i also got to spend time w/ my favorite aunt (elaine)'s family. we had hot pot one night with them and her other side of the family. haha elaine's nephews both have white significant others. and omg one of then and his gf were so hippy. like vegetarians, vintage t's, and long wispy hair with bangs. i got to meet my cousin justin's gf too-- she's really sweet! when my sister flew from ny she mostly hung out with my little cousin joycelyn, while i "finished" my college apps. haha half the time i played microsoft hearts... but i did finish my college apps before school started again! on new year's, my family went to a chinese mall, where they were doing like a kungfu demonstration to wicked loud music. thennnn after, we went to congee wong and haha saw the year change through the time stamp on security camera monitors. on new year's, we walked thru a national park and surprisingly a lot of people were walking too! we stayed in syracuse one night and went to a really awesome church.

ok now it's 2009 and this year has been going well so far, except i truly have senioritis. i had a TON of resolutions and have been kinda keeping them up. but after nathan's sermon on sunday, i realized that i truly need to resolve to know Christ. i've been spending time with God everyday, but i definitely need to gain discipline and not to gossip...b/c i've been tearing others down.

over vacation i read "the alchemist" and it's truly a great book. i makes you think a lot about destiny and haha it's made me a bit paranoid about omens and i already over-analyze enough as it is. here's a nice quote from it:

"tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. and that no heart has ever suffered when i goes in search of its dreams, because every second's encounter with God and with eternity"



since vacation the crisis in graza has escaled- i can't believe over 1000 people have died. is a cause great than takinig the lives of others? it amazes me that only 13 israelis have died, while 1,155 palestinians have died. the other day, i say the bumper stickers behind this happy van with some true words of wisdom:

"when the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
- jimi hendrix

"an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"
- gandhi

i'm going to end with an acoustic vid from jenny and tyler- an adorable and talented married couple (i found them from a facebook ad that said "if you like bethany dillon and shane and shane. they're like young starving musicans--pursuing their dreams in nashville :)